1. Skip to navigation
  2. Skip to content
  3. Skip to sidebar
 
 
 
The National College Magazine
 
Current Issue
Select Previous Issues
Summer 2010
U Magazine
Spring 2010
U Magazine
Winter 2009
U Magazine
Fall 2009
U Magazine
Spring 2009
U Magazine
20th Anniversary Issue
U Magazine
Summer 2008
U Magazine
Spring 2008
U Magazine
Winter 2007
U Magazine
Fall 2007
U Magazine
Summer 2007
U Magazine
Spring 2007
U Magazine
Winter 2006
U Magazine
Fall 2006
U Magazine
Summer 2006
U Magazine
Spring 2006
U Magazine
Winter 2005
U Magazine
Fall 2005
U Magazine
Summer 2005
U Magazine
Spring 2005
U Magazine
Winter 2004
U Magazine
Fall 2004
U Magazine
Spring 2004
U Magazine
Winter 2003
Fall 2003
Spring 2003

U.Mag's Top 25 Articles
From wacky college stories to celebrity interviews, these are our favorite U. articles of all time.
Features
Binge Drinking: A College National Pastime?
Body Image: Taken Too Seriously?
Crime on Campuses
Campus Clips
Admissions Without SAT
Is Your School Cool?
Master's Degree: Worth It?
Tech Talk
Student CEO's
Digital Plagiarism
Turn Off Your Cell Phone!
Online Exclusives
Backpack Europe
Find advice before you go.
1-800 Database
Full of dial-up help.
Arts & Entertainment
NC-17: It Ain't Right!
Dr. Drew On the Web
Dixie Chicks Set To Fly
Cooking w/ Chef Rossi
One Pot Suppers
Pasta Bada-Bing!
Cocktail Hour Munchies
Health & Nutrition
Brain Food for Finals
Abstinence on Campus
Suicide Gene?
U. Archives
 
Admissions
Find a College or University
Get Help Writing Your Admissions Essay
Financial Aid
Find a Scholarship
 
 
 

Print this article


Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf

He's angry, he's drunk and he was recently voted "The Most Beautiful Person" on People magazine's Web site. But there's more to this 4-foot-1-inch eccentric who found fame and notoriety on Howard Stern's radio show. A self-proclaimed "radical," the 36-year old Hank says he voted for himself in the 1996 presidential election. And when he's not pounding drafts at his favorite neighborhood watering hole, he's entertaining people with guest appearances at bars and bachelor parties. So we invite you to step inside Hank's tavern - where the politically incorrect discussion ranges from pot to Paul McCartney, manners are tossed out the window, and there's never a last call.

On the VW Beetle: "I haven't seen it, but I have seen Paul McCartney."

On college sports: "I don't watch college sports because I'm too busy drinking."

On Chris Tucker: "Never heard of him."

On the stock market: "Screw the stock market. I could care less about the stock market."

On nudity: "I've seen plenty of women naked."

On the Asian currency crisis: "Why should I feel sorry for these Asians? I always got treated like dirt at Chinese restaurants."

On marijuana: "Say somebody at the bar smokes a joint with me, I'll buy em' a drink."

Return to Table of Contents

Print this article