Our favorite vampire slayer is heading to the fictitious UC Sunnydale this fall to kick some college ass, and we couldn't be happier about that. But it also made us wonder what Buffy's college application would look like. Here's our take on what admissions officers at UC Sunnydale might have received.
UC SUNNYDALE COLLEGE APPLICATION
Tell us about an influential person in your life and how that person has affected you.
I met the love of my life in high school. His name is Angel, and he taught me that even though some guys are pretty cold-blooded corpse-like even and scared to be seen with you in broad daylight, it doesn't mean that they are all bad. Angel was my soul mate. Until he lost his soul, that is. He was sweet and caring until the night of my 17th birthday. That's the night we took our relationship to the next level. I've heard of guys becoming distant and detached after sex, but Angel took it to the extreme. He turned into a real monster. And then came the excuses: he was cursed by a gypsy's spell, he could never experience one moment of pure bliss, the lines just kept on coming. I think he was freaked out by the whole commitment thing. I learned that no matter how much you love someone, some relationships just aren't healthy. So I drove a stake into his heart.
DESCRIBE SOME OF YOUR EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES.
I'm a real leader around Sunnydale. I ran for prom queen, but my senior prom happened to fall on the same night as Slayer Feast 99. Instead of fighting for the crown, I ended up fighting for my life. I also organized the entire senior class to destroy a 700-foot serpent, halt the evil mayor's ascension and stop the end of the world on graduation day.
WHAT WILL YOU MISS MOST ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL?
I'm really going to miss my fellow students. They've taught me a lot about life. Time and time again, they've proven that appearances mean nothing. Ampata appeared to be a sweet Peruvian exchange student, but then she tried to drain the life out of Xander. The swim team looked like hotties in their Speedos, but turned out to be fish monsters. Faith, a fellow slayer, seemed like a friend I could really relate to until she sided with the evil mayor and tried to kill me before the senior ball, that is. And who would have ever thought I would become friends with Cordelia?
WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO ABOUT COLLEGE?
I feel that over the past four years in high school I've killed a lot of evil spirits werewolves, seamonsters, warlocks and the run-of-the-mill vampires, to name a few. Fighting the same old demons day in and day out can get so boring. I try to challenge myself by wearing stacked heels and tight skirts, but it's become so mundane. As a slayer, I feel I've done everything I can here at Sunnydale High, and I'm hoping college has more to offer.
WHAT WOULD BE YOUR DREAM CLASS SCHEDULE?
List four classes you would most want to take.
Count Dracula to Drucilla: Vampires on the Big Screen
Anatomy of the Undead: Stake 'em Where it Counts
Phys Ed: Kickboxing in Tall Boots and Short Skirts
Sarcasm and Slaying: Nailing the Come-Back Before the Kill
PLEASE SUBMIT TWO LETTERS OF RECOMMENDATION
LETTER FROM WILLOW ROSENBERG:
It's safe to say this town wouldn't be the same without Buffy Summers. Without Buffy, we would see corpses walking the streets and demons sucking the innocence out of our town. Do we really want to see Sunnydale become another L.A.?
I wouldn't be the same without Buffy, either. She's been a true friend, always coaxing me to explore my talents. Without Buffy's encouragement, I probably never would have learned that the magic potion for finding love or a vampire's soul is only a few herbs and rat hairs away. Wait a minute, why am I writing this letter? It's admit-Buffy-to-college spell time.
LETTER FROM OZ:
If colleges aim to teach acceptance, tolerance and open-mindedness wouldn't the ideal student possess all of the above? Then Buffy Summers is your girl.
For example, take a look at her circle of friends. One's a witch, and one's 400+ year-old lost soul in need of some serious orthodontia. And I can be a real beast around that time of the month.
Second, Buffy always puts others first and herself last. If a fellow student is in danger, Buffy will brave the perils of hell to protect him or her. Sorry to cut this short, but I see a full moon rising. Off to my cage.Respectfully, Oz
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