My mistake! Shortly after learning that the Doppler Shift of the stars dated the universe at roughly 15 billion years, I ran into a campus preacher. He informed me that the universe was but several thousand years old. Imagine that! All this time, hundreds of Ph.D.s from the U. of California, Berkeley, and MIT have spent decades studying and quantifying galactic redshift, radioisotope dating, background radiaton, and carbon-14 dating – all for nothing!

It turns out that a finger-pointing Bible-thumper, with no more than an 11th-grade education, has remained one step ahead of the country's nuclear physicists. But campus preachers have to realize that they are not trained scientists. In fact, they're trained in nothing but blind belief. Campus preachers will never convert me, and I doubt they are likely to convert any other students. If they do, then it is not without the expense of alienating thousands of potential Christians.

How ironic that a preacher who would proudly shout the Christian concept, "narrow is the path to salvation," would do so on a university campus – the very place least likely to endorse a narrow mind. College is a place for us to transcend simple-mindedness – the same simple-mindedness so flamboyantly displayed by these preachers.

The campus preachers around the country, narrow themselves, represent the worst part of Christianity: they are loud, offensive, prejudiced, loud and loud. While the campus preachers will never be able to change me into an irrational, thoughtless creature motivated only by a desire to avoid hell, they undeniably serve a unique and desirable purpose on campuses around the country: entertainment. Students would ask them to leave but then what would they do in between classes?

Andrew Knight, a graduate student at MIT, is the author of At Least in Hell the Christians Won't Harass Me, available on

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