pie

Here's pie in your...
By Emma Peele

The breakaway star of the cinematic hit "American Pie" is, in our opinion, The Pie. It's central to star Jason Biggs' quest for sexual discovery and ... oh, all right! Biggs SHAGS the dang thing in one of the grossest scenes in the history of U.S. moviemaking!

But did you know that, like most wimpy American action stars, The Pie had a "stunt double"? Yup, says Entertainment Weekly. For the close-up scenes in which Biggs tastes the tart, they filmmakers used the real baked goods. BUT, when Biggs gets horny and scores, they used a STYROFOAM PIE.

"First of all, a real one would get too messy," production designer Paul Peters tells EW, "and secondly, it had to be light enough to hang on the front of Jason." Oh, the horror!

Biggs himself solemnly notes that "no pies were harmed during the making of this movie," so "no one from Marie Callender's or Mrs. Smith's will demonstrate."

See also: 'American Pie' actor creates classic movie moment
jerry hall
Jerry Hall

How ya like me now?

Looking fab is the best revenge for every woman done wrong by a two-timing cretin. So Jerry Hall's major makeover in the current Harper's Bazaar says VOLUMES. Like: Look what you're giving up, Mick! The tall Texan dons a flaxen wig and looks good enough to make hubby Mick Jagger want to have an affair with HER, for a change.

Hall reveals that she and the Rolling Stone have clinched an annulment. Her take: a not-too-shabby $15.5 million. Our question: If they're annulling the marriage, where does that leave the four kids sired during the roller-coaster union -as bastards?

Despite Jagger's chronic skirt-chasing, Hall insists: "(Mick's) my best friend. He says I'm his best friend." Wondering why did this rich, good-looking woman stayed in a humiliating marriage? Having an abusive father may have something to do with it.

Hall tells Harper's: "My (father) beat us (she and her sisters) up. Sometimes he beat us with a belt so bad" that we'd have black-and-blue welts on our legs and couldn't go to school. ... He told us he was going to kill us. It's not the kind of thing that does wonders for your self-esteem." Hall has also told The Times of London that she lost her virginity at 14 to a bull rider in a rodeo who agreed to deflower her and a girlfriend at the same time!


Robin Hood and Maid Marian
Maid Marian may not have been Robin's first choice

Was Robin Hood a gay blade?

Class, the lesson for today: "Great Gay Figures in History."

Your instructor: Stephen Knight, professor of English Literature at Cardiff University in Wales.

The subject: Robin Hood.

Not only was he as gay as the day was long, says Knight, but Robin liked Little John more than he did Maid Marian! She was fictional, anyway. Knight reportedly claims 14th Century ballads about the outlaw and his "merrie men" could not "say outright that he was gay because of the prevailing moral climate, but they do contain a great deal of erotic imagery. The green wood itself is a symbol of virility, and the references to arrows, quivers and swords make it clear, too." Quiver me timbers!

Concurring with this theory: Barry Dobson, professor of medieval history at Cambridge. The learned professor told The Times of London that he, too, is curious about the ambiguous relationship between Hood and Little John. Gay rights advocate Peter Tatchell gloated in the press: "It's about time school history lessons acknowledged the contribution of famous homosexuals."

But Mary Chamberlain of the Robin Hood Society frowns up the whole, um, affair, saying: "Robin remains a highly regarded figure the world over, and children like to play at being Robin Hood. These claims could do a lot of damage." Not more men in tights!?!


Heather Graham

Golden Graham

Everything's coming up rosy for actress Heather Graham. Her career is in high gear ("Boogie Nights," "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me"). She's in love and has shacked up with actor-director Ed Burns. But ... you know it was coming ... her relationship with Ma and Pa ain't that great. Sure, they raised a girl with big, luminous eyes, the perfect smile and great hair. But Pa was an FBI agent and Ma was a schoolteacher/author who raised Graham and her younger sister in a strict Catholic home.

Graham remembered the inner struggle. "I would try to pretend I was this sweet, innocent thing," she tells Premiere mag. "I worked on this facade of seeming like I wasn't doing anything wrong, and leading this Catholic lifestyle, I was pretending I was something I wasn't. I was miserable."

She felt like she was on an express train to hell whenever she got a crush on a boy. "I grew up thinking sex is bad and feeling really guilty ... There's a rule in Catholicism: Obey your mother and father. But what if your father and mother are f----- up? ... The first time I had sex I did not have fun. I felt like s---. I think some part of me thought, I deserve to be punished."

She broke out at 18, moving into her own place, getting therapy and following her muse into acting. She got cast in "Drugstore Cowboy" and never looked back.

'Course, Ma and Pa's influence was ever present: "I thought I needed to be successful to be somebody. At the same time, growing up in a strict household, it was like, 'Don't ever do a movie with sex in it. Don't do anything risky because we don't want to be embarrassed by you.'" she told the mag.

Well, heck! The 'rents must have blown a gasket when she took off her clothes in "Boogie Nights" for a full frontal nude shoot. But it was all about sexual liberation.

"I was a little scared being naked. But it was kind of freeing. I just felt like I didn't have to live by the rules of Catholicism if I wanted to express myself artistically, and I'm not going to hell."


Odds and ends

Brandi Chastain on Sports Illustrated
Brandi Chastain on the cover of SI

Step right up, get your bra-rah-rahs! Copies of the sports bra so exuberantly displayed on national TV by American soccer star Brandi Chastain go on sale in stores July 25 for $40. Nike, its maker, is looking into getting rights to photos of Chastain's shirt strip to hype the undie. The soccer player was a paid consultant when the bra was in development, but a Nike spokesman said, "There's no plan to give her any additional compensation.'' Yeah, Winning is its own cheap reward!

Evander Holyfield shelled out $8,000 at a children's charity auction in New York for the pleasure of being an extra in Spike Lee's "Summer of Sam," reports People magazine. "He paid to be the walk-on," Lee said. "I just put a wig on him and told him to go in there and loot."

Keanu Reeves has signed to do back-to-back sequels to "The Matrix'' to be released within months of each other, according to reports. The actor opted for a back-end percentage deal in lieu of giant salary. The sequels start shooting in Australia soonest.


Will Smith
Give Will Smith his props: He has become the highest-paid black actor in history after commanding $20 mil to play Muhammad Ali in a movie that begins production in the fall. The payday puts him on Hollywood's top shelf alongside Jim Carrey, John Travolta and Adam Sandler. "I'm excited about the challenge,'' Smith said. "Ali wants me to do it. When he wants you to do it, then, it's like, OK.''

"Titanic" star Kate Winslet will do a full-frontal nude scene next month in a movie about one of the world's legendary pornographers. She plays the mistress of the Marquis de Sade, played by Geoffrey Rush. Whether it will be big Kate or scrawny Kate is a mystery.

Entertainment Weekly names "The Exorcist" as tops among the 25 scariest movie of all time. The others, in descending order, are "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," "Alien," "The Silence of the Lambs," "Halloween," "Jaws," "Psycho," "Seven," "The Shining," "Rosemary's Baby," "A Nightmare on Elm Street," "The Thing," "Night of the Living Dead," "The Omen," "Carrie," "Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer," "Phantasm," "Suspiria," "The Hitcher," "Dead Ringers," "Near Dark," "The Stepfather," "Lost Highway," "Freaks," "Vanishing."

Jennifer Paterson, 71, one of "The Two Fat Ladies'' out of Britain who cook up vein-busting, heart-clogging dishes -- yum! --on TV and became the unlikeliest of celebs with partner Clarissa Dickson Wright, is hospitalized in London and undergoing tests for cancer, the BBC said Saturday.

The Rev. Sinead O'Connor is expecting her third child early next year. The daddy-to-be is Irish newspaperman Neil Michael, whom she met when he interviewed her in the spring. O'Connor already has a 3-year-old daughter and an 11-year-old son -- both with different dads. Michael reported in April that the 32-year-old singer was thinking about giving up sex after she was ordained as a Roman Catholic priest by a rebel bishop. He clearly changed her mind.

And that's what's passing for pop culture these days!

Ciao!


7/19/99