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Lesson
Three: Compare and Contrast Sample Essay
SAMPLE
ESSAY 1:
Columbia, Athlete and Musician (sailing and bass guitar)
Write
a chapter from your autobiography.
Chapter
34: One Memorable Sailing Practice
The
sunās glare off the water forces my watery eyes to close
even more. Spray leaps over the bow and blocks my vision
as it slams into me like hundreds of little pebbles.
The salt water has irritated my eyes enough already,
but I am only beginning my practice for today. The Buzzards
Bay Regatta is only three days away, and I must get
comfortable with the boat.
Skimming
over the waves on a screaming plane, the boat senses
every movement. The boat is like a leaf being blown
across a pond. With only the rear end of the hull in
the water, I am half flying and concentrate on positioning
my weight aft for the most speed. I shuffle my butt
half a foot aft and the boat rounds up towards the wind,
but I fight the motion off with the helm and regain
my original course.
With
one hand on the tiller and the other holding the mainsheet,
I see that my hands are in the same position when I
play my bass guitar. Comparisons between the two mesh
together in my mind as I realize the similarities between
bass guitar and sailing. I recall the practicing involved
in bass and see how sailing requires the same diligence.
My thoughts no longer focus on fine tuning my sailing,
but they vividly connect bass guitar playing and sailing.
I
probe to find out what the essences of sailing and music
are. While on the water in a sailboat, I accept the
elements as they present themselves to me. Given certain
wind and wave conditions, I manipulate the sailboat
to attain the best harmony between by boat and its immediate
environment. I imagine the sailboat is an extension
of my body and plunge, accelerate, and rock with the
sea and the wind, as the boat does. Sailing stresses
technique because I need proper form to adjust to all
of the different combinations to have twelve different
notes in the musical alphabet with which to work, and
with my technique I manipulate those notes and arrange
them to adjust to varied moods I want to express. Again,
painstaking technique is emphasized because by body
must encompass the bass to attain the pure harmony between
my expression and the notes on the instrument. Meticulously,
I pluck, pull, and slide my fingers on the strings as
I adjust to the countless combinations. Musicians and
sailors alike practice their technique to reach perfection,
whether it be in the form of the fastest sailboat or
the most sonorous melody. Rooted in the same essence,
I discover that I draw from the same method to sail
and play music.
Seemingly
unrelated experiences converge. Bass guitar and sailing
do not seem to relate to one another, but I discover
the similarities. Linking bass guitar and sailing consummates
the understanding of two of my hobbies. I seek the mastery
of my sailing, but I realize that I simultaneously increase
my understanding of bass playing as well.
My
focus shifts from new realizations back to my sailboat,
but the waves are turning into ripples as the sun sets.
There will not be any more sailing today, but I can
now continue practicing with my bass.
COMMENTS:
This
writer maintains focus by making the similarities between
his two activities the topic of the essay. The detail
with which he describes both activities and the depth
with which he analyzes their similarities clearly demonstrate
the passion that he brings to both.
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SAMPLE
ESSAY 2:
Harvard, Favorite Characters
Of
all the characters that Iāve "met" through books and
movies, two stand out as people that I most want to
emulate. They are Attacus Finch from To Kill A Mockingbird
and Dr. Archibald "Moonlight" Graham from Field of
Dreams. They appeal to me because they embody what
I strive to be. They are influential people in small
towns who have a direct positive effect on those around
them. I, too, plan to live in a small town after graduating
from college, and that positive effect is something
I must give in order to be satisfied with my life.
Both
Mr. Finch and Dr. Graham are strong supporting characters
in wonderful stories. They symbolize good, honesty,
and wisdom. When the story of my town is written I want
to symbolize those things. The base has been formed
for me to live a productive, helpful life. As an Eagle
Scout I represent those things that Mr. Finch and Dr.
Graham represent. In the child/adolescent world I am
Mr. Finch and Dr. Graham, but soon Iāll be entering
the adult world, a world in which Iām not yet prepared
to lead.
Iām
quite sure that as teenagers Attacus Finch and Moonlight
Graham often wondered what they could do to help others.
They probably emulated someone who they had seen live
a successful life. They saw someone like my grandfather,
40-year president of our hometown bank, enjoy a lifetime
of leading, sharing, and giving. I have seen him spend
his Christmas Eves taking gifts of food and joy to indigent
families. Often when his bank could not justify a loan
to someone in need, my grandfather made the loan from
his own pocket. He is a real-life Moonlight Graham,
a man who has shown me that characters like Dr. Graham
and Mr. Finch do much much more than elicit tears and
smiles from readers and movie watchers. Through him
and others in my family I feel I have acquired the values
and the burning desire to benefit others that will form
the foundation for a great life. I also feel that that
foundation is not enough. I do not yet have the sophistication,
knowledge, and wisdom necessary to succeed as I want
to in the adult world. I feel that Harvard, above all
others, can guide me toward the life of greatness that
will make me the Attacus Finch of my town.
COMMENTS:
This
essay is a great example of how to answer this question
well. This applicant chose characters who demonstrated
specific traits that reflect on his own personality.
We believe that he is sincere about his choices because
his reasons are personal (being from a small town, and
so forth). He managed to tell us a good deal about himself,
his values, and his goals while maintaining a strong
focus throughout.
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